STILL HAVEN’T GOT your Christmas shopping done?
Then you’re likely experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions right now.
Like…
1. Denial
Despite the fact there are only seven days to Christmas, you delude yourself into thinking that it’s totally grand and you have plenty of time.
“Sure, I can probably get it all done in two hours if I don’t dilly dally,” you say, having evidently repressed memories of last year.
2. Resentment
Whenever a colleague/someone on social media boasts about having everything done and insists on rubbing it in your face.
Stop making us all feel inadequate.
3. Rage
Whenever a busybody asks, “So, have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?”
Oh, do you get a thrill out of seeing panic in my eyes? Do you want to feel better than me?
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4. Horror
At some point, memories of marching through Avoca while trying to find something, nay, anything for your mother will come flooding back and you’ll become paralysed with fear for what lies ahead.
5. Acceptance
Once the horror has subsided, you will reach the “acceptance” stage.
“I have made my bed and now I must lie in it,” you say. “Onwards and upwards.”
6. Motivation
You leave the house with a sense of purpose — to get all your Christmas shopping done in two hours and relax afterwards with a hot toddy.
“I can do this,” you say, as you knock back a protein shake and listen to the Rocky theme.
7. Intense regret
Typically experienced within one hour of going into town and finding yourself saying, “Sorry, sorry, sorry” to people walking with tiny children.
8. Relief
As you run into someone you know and decide that you simply must have a pint with them this instant. “Sure, I only have a bit of shopping left to do anyway.”
9. Panic
The kind of panic where you spend an obscene amount of money on a Jo Malone candle you’re not even entirely sure your Mam would like. The kind of panic where you convince yourself that everyone likes getting socks for Christmas.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
10. Determination
To never, ever, ever put off Christmas shopping to the last minute again.
(Until next year, that is.)
Happy shopping!
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